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Aug 20, 2018

“Any time we are standing in our truth, it is inevitable that we are going to make someone unhappy. It’s imperative, but it is hard.”

In this week’s episode of Women in the Business Arena, we are discussing the ins and outs of people-pleasing, and how it affects women in business. Many times we confuse etiquette or kindness for people-pleasing. Because politeness is often rewarded, we can forget how to adequately express ourselves without feeling apologetic for expressing and owning our own needs. The difference between kindness and people-pleasing can be found in the motivation behind the action. Most often, people-pleasing is done to avoid conflict, rejection, or guilt.

“There’s not a way to truly avoid negative response or rejection. The cost of not being in alignment with yourself is so much greater... Rejecting yourself has such a high cost.”

It can be uncomfortable to be polarizing in your language, and clearly stand for your opinions and passions. However, when we put people-pleasing as the priority, our message becomes watered down. Having clearly stated beliefs and opinions will attract others that resonate with you. Changing aspects of your business in an effort to please your clients denies your alignment, integrity, and your leadership.

“It is a rite of passage to empowerment to own all of the ways you have denied and mistrusted yourself.”

In this episode, Sonya and Laura give an extensive list of the ways that people-pleasing is probably affecting your business. Take a moment to do a self-inventory of your own business. Chances are there are at least a couple of these that will resonate with you.

The more you begin to own your needs, the more you will find yourself in conflict. However, as we choose to overcome the fear of being rejected, we will be able to see conflict as an opportunity for deeper connection. Learning how to successfully repair disconnection can lead to a more fulfilled business, and deeper relationships both in life and in business.

Some Topics we talk about in this episode:

  • Introduction - 0:56
  • People Pleasing In and Out of the Workplace - 3:20
  • People-Pleasing and the Fear of Rejection - 8:20
  • How is People-Pleasing Affecting Your Business? - 14:20
  • The Roots of People-Pleasing - 28:45
  • Long Term Effects of People-Pleasing - 37:40
  • Wrap-up and Takeaways - 36:30

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